Friday, September 18, 2009

The Disturbing Case of the Bored Husband

Loonfoot Falls has no shortage of Nelsons, but I haven't found a couple who quite match the "Mr. and Mrs. Nelson" I read about this week. Maybe they're from out of town.

Here's the email I read:

Since his retirement, Mr. Nelson had accompanied his wife each time she went to Valderrama. She liked having someone to carry packages.

His idea of shopping was to get in, find the listed items, and get out. Hers was to browse until she had what she needed, then visit another department or two.

Mr. Nelson got bored.

Then, Mrs. Nelson got this letter from the Loonfoot Falls Valderrama:

Dear. Mrs. Nelson,

Your husband has, over the last three months, seriously inconvenienced many customers, and interfered with Valderrama cooperators. If he does not stop his antics, we may be forced to bar you from this store.

His actions, which force us to take this step, are as follows. We have surveillance video of each incident.

June 2: In housewares, set alarm clocks to go off at five minute intervals

June 8: Approached an employee, saying "Code 5 in Housewares. Take care of it now"

June 23: Spent twenty minutes at the Service Desk, trying to put a Hershey's candy bar on layaway

July 14: While holding a rifle in the Sporting Goods department, asked the cooperator where antidepressants were stocked

The Loonfoot Falls Valderrama manager doesn't know of any similar incidents: so this email may have been a hoax. Still, it's a good story.

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